Saturday Sadness

It is so crazy that this just started for us on the October 2nd, Just 21 days ago when Jack went into the hospital. Thank you all for all your love and prayers, I am convinced that is the only reason I am up and walking around today. It has been very difficult. (understatement of the year). 

I am sure most of you know that yesterday we had to move Jack to the hospice house. There was bleeding that just could not be controlled at home. What an ordeal getting him out of the house. 

I thought when we moved to this house 3 years ago that it would be easier to get in and out in an emergency (most of you remember the river house right?), but the little hallways and door placements made it impossible to get a stretcher in to the bedroom. They sent two girls in to move him and they had to call in reinforcements. I was thinking a couple of big burly guys would come in and lift him but instead 3 more women came in and got him out, sorry if I underestimated you girls. I should know better. It is kind of funny that I would think this way, I was always fighting my way into male dominated situations in the HVAC industry and being underestimated. Girl Power exists! God bless you ladies for what you do.

Jack is now in the SECU Hospice house in Smithfield, but here is the kicker. Only family visitors right now and only 4 people can visit in 24 hours and that includes me.  Only 2 allowed in the room at a time. Today Jeff, Savannah and Sammy are coming to see Jack. (son and granddaughters). The thing about family is I consider all our friends to be in our family and we love each of you. We have often talked about our love for you all. It is strange that facing the reality of this is so much easier because I know I can call on any of you and you would each be there for me if you can.

If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? ~ 1 John 4:20

If you have any hate, bitterness or resentment toward someone in this world you need to let it go. You can't be close to God with these negative things in your life. I had a preacher tell me one time that "You can forgive and still not forget". 

Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." - Matthew 18:21, 22. 

Let me look at the math here, 7x70 = 490 right? Seems like such a random number, have you ever had to forgive someone 490 times. I had a co-worker a long time ago that I had to forgive everyday for something it seemed. (and it's not your Tracy or you Cory either)LOL. I worked with them for less than a year so in this math 261 working days, subtract the holidays like 10 - 12 days I think. Wow if my math were to hold up here I only made it to about half of what Jesus said. Thanks for going down that rabbit hole with me.

Going to get a second cup of coffee and get cleaned up and head over to be by Jack's side as much as I can while I can. If you know me I hate to cry, but now I walk around with a crying headache all the time. There is something about tears in the bible I will have to look that up again.

God bless you and thanks to all of you for the food, flowers and friendship. Love you and I forgive you, only 489 more to go. (LOL I had to end it on a happier note) 💖